Be active

Which one sounds weaker?

• We shall fight on the beaches
• They shall be fought on the beaches
  
  

If you recognise one of them, the wrong one will sound odd. But, even if you don't, the second one should sound weaker.

The first is an active sentence. The second is a passive sentence.

Active sentences begin with the person doing the thing. They’re a simpler sentence structure and therefore easier to process. The active sentence has conviction and vigour.

Passive sentences start with the object of the action. They’re a more complex sentence structure and can sometimes even hide the person doing the thing. The passive sentence is weak and subordinate.

“We shall fight on the beaches”

This active sentence is clear about who is doing what. The actors in the scene are named, “We”. It’s clear who’s fighting and there’s no chance of losing the reader.

But in this passive version, the people doing the thing are hidden.

"They shall be fought on the beaches (by us)"

It might be obvious but is it worth the risk, navigator?

The active sentence is from a Winston Churchill speech given to The House of Commons on the 4th of June, 1940. That particular line has become the common title for the speech and is nestled within a string of other “we shall fight” clauses.

"We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender"

Each clause is written in the active form and is part of why the lines are so memorable and compelling.

People and their actions are the heart of most stories, as they should be the heart of most sentences. Don't hide the people doing the things.

If a sentence ends with by X then it's probably passive.

Make it active by putting the person doing the thing upfront.

Example 01:

Passive: Jim was looked at by Ali
Active: Ali looked at Jim

Ali is doing the looking, so she goes first.

Example 02:

Passive: This handbook was written by me
Active: I wrote this handbook

I wrote it, so I go first.

The passive sentence doesn't always wear bright identifiable colours though. It can live deep undercover, undetected, in full camo.

You could write:

“This handbook was written at weekends”

That's still a passive sentence, even without the by X. The handbook didn’t write itself. The weekend didn’t write the handbook. I wrote it, but I’m nowhere to be seen.

The Mailchimp style guide asks people to add “by monkeys” to the end of sentences to reveal whether they’re active or passive. If you can add “by monkeys” to the end of the sentence and it makes grammatical sense, it’s a passive sentence and needs activating.

Let’s do a step by step example.

Example:

“This handbook was written at weekends”

Step 1: Is it passive? Add “by monkeys” to check.

"This handbook was written at weekends by monkeys"

Step 2: It makes grammatical sense, it’s passive. Put the person who wrote it at the beginning.

"I wrote this handbook at weekends"

Step 3: Double check it’s no longer passive by adding “by monkeys” again

"I wrote this handbook at weekends by monkeys"

Step 4: This sentence no longer makes grammatical sense

No.

Just know the trade offs.

Passive sentences:

• are more structurally complex
• are typically more wordy
• can hide the people
  
  

The place I’ve used passive sentences the most is on confirmation pages as part of a user journey.

Imagine you’re saving a new password on an app. You click the “Save password” button and you get sent to a confirmation page. There I would write “Password saved!”.

It’s passive because the password was saved by us, the company. The active version of this sentence would be “We’ve saved your password!”.

In this case though, with the passive sentence being entirely understandable, and the need to make everything fit neatly on tiny phone screens, I would make the trade off.